


It's the Great Pumpkin, Steve Rogers! ('The Giant Pumpkin And The Garden Guy' Remix)

by AnonEhouse



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Crack Treated Seriously, Gardens & Gardening, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, M/M, Pumpkins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-19 07:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5959015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony decides to grow giant pumpkins in the community garden Steve manages in Brooklyn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's the Great Pumpkin, Steve Rogers! ('The Giant Pumpkin And The Garden Guy' Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Giant Pumpkin And The Garden Guy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689128) by [Neverever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Neverever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever) in the [Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016) collection. 



(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

 

 

Space was limited, and people had abused the privilege in the past, so Steve took interviews seriously. He didn't want someone coming in and spoiling the community garden for others, but he didn't want to rule out any honest gardeners just because they wanted to do something out of the ordinary.

But... "Giant Pumpkins?" That was either overly ambitious, or a joke. It was a toss-up in his mind. Still, Tony had the hands of a man not afraid to get dirty, and he certainly had done his research. Steve had seen less detailed military operations. He wondered if Tony expected the pumpkins to grow to order. Steve leafed through the application and reminded himself that variety was good in a garden. Crop rotation was important. They couldn't all grow tomatoes, or, God forbid, zucchini.

No one else was trying to grow giant pumpkins for a competition. Especially not a competition nearly three hundred miles away. Steve visualized driving a car full of monster pumpkin for five hours. Or maybe he'd hire a chauffeur. Tony was probably a bit crazy, but he seemed like a nice guy. And he was awfully cute, not that Steve would let that affect his judgement. "How are you planning to water your pumpkin patch?" Pumpkins were greedy. He couldn't allow Tony to hog the water supply.

"See page 50 of the application." Tony waved his hand at the sheaf of paper until Steve dutifully located the page in question and found an exploded diagram, neatly labeled with materials and dimensions for a water tower. A water tower. Along with provisions to have water trucked in to fill it. Whatever pumpkins he wound up with were going to cost a fortune, so probably chauffeur it would be.

"Oh. Okay. You need to scale it back a foot." Steve was pretty sure Tony was going to be bending all the rules. He'd have to keep a close eye on him. For the sake of the community.

 

Tony was absolutely a rule-bender. He just didn't seem to grasp the idea of rules, at all. It wasn't malicious; he was just as self-centered as a child. Steve was strong. Puppy dog eyes and pouting had no effect on him at all. None. Tony put his tools in the wrong shed and then bribed Jessica to trade with him. Steve wanted to tell him that money couldn't buy everything, but he did admire his ingenuity and determination. It had been a long time since Steve had seen someone so devoted to something essentially useless. Most of the gardeners were raising food, and while he couldn't eat them, Steve's flowers were subjects for his art, and the bouquets went on to brighten rooms for the hospice that had taken care of his mother. 

And Tony's pest control methods-- well, they were creative, but his experiments with stinks and noise spread over to other people's plots.

 

"Tony, you really can't spray lion urine around the perimeter of your plot." Steve had coughed. The smell made his eyes water.

"It kept away the cats who were using my plot as a toilet!"

"It probably killed them." Steve handed Tony another 'bad gardener' ticket. "And you have to remove the motion sensitive vuvuzelas."

"Sherlock Holmes controlled flies with sound!"

Steve compressed his lips so he wouldn't laugh, and shook his head. "No vuvuzelas." He peeled off several more tickets and stuffed them into Tony's pocket. Tony did have a good heart and he got along with the gardeners next to him, when he wasn't driving them crazy with his weird ideas. "Use organic methods. Traditional organic methods," Steve clarified when he saw Tony's eyes going to the spray bottle of Eau de Simba. 

 

Steve held to his first instinct and kept an eye on Tony. So long as his more outlandish excesses were pruned back, Tony... well... he bloomed. His 'office tan' turned into a healthy glow and his arms became more defined. Not that Steve stared, or anything. He just was naturally observant. Which is how he noticed Tony talking with an attractive stranger while he just happened to be walking past.

"Hey, Tony," Steve said, to be friendly.

Tony naturally took that as permission to babble and tell Steve all about his friend Rhodey, who was an old school mate who'd joined the Air Force, and not a boyfriend. Steve smiled politely at Rhodey, and resisted the impulse to show off his strength when they shook hands. Just because Tony was standing really close to Rhodey didn't mean anything. Just good friends, like him and Bucky. No hanky panky going on. They were at MIT together, not together at MIT. So when Rhodey invited him to join them for drinks Steve accepted, since he wasn't going to be a third wheel.

 

Steve took extra care with his appearance because heck, he wasn't going to let the Army side down in front of the Chair Force. He got Sam to go with him, because he thought Sam would enjoy meeting another flier. It had nothing to do with wanting to keep Rhodey occupied so Steve could talk to Tony without having to pick on him for breaking rules. Steve just wanted to relax and Tony was great company when he wasn't talking about pumpkins. It was funny, though, naming them Shamu and Godzilla and then calling the last one Rhodey, Jr. Steve wasn't annoyed that he didn't get a pumpkin named for him. Not at all. They were Tony's pumpkins and he could call them whatever he liked.

 

Steve had gone home, pleasantly mellow and with nothing more on his mind than setting up a new canvas for his next painting. He was considering sneaking a pumpkin blossom or two into the arrangement. They were kinda pretty, once you really looked at them. And then the message came. Bucky needed him. He tossed some clothes into a duffel and left a message of his own for Sam, asking him to take over the garden management until he could return. He'd call later with more details, once he knew the situation. Bucky's therapist said he needed a friend, and by God, Steve wasn't going to let him down.

 

It had been hard, but he was glad he'd gone. He'd stayed while Bucky worked out a few issues, and regained his balance. Bucky was tough as an old boot, he just needed a reminder that he wasn't any less in Steve's eyes, that scars only proved he was stronger than what tried to kill him. After a while Steve started talking about things back in Brooklyn, the little everyday trivia that grounded him. 

"This was nice, Steve," Bucky said one day, while resting between sets in the therapy room. "but you gotta go home to your little punkin' now."

"What?" Steve felt his face warm. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, sure you don't." Bucky tossed a weighted ball at him. "Stevie, you're gone on the guy. Go home and... I dunno... talk to him. Make a pie together. G'wan, punk."

 

Tony wasn't there when Steve returned to Brooklyn, but Sam had filled him in so he wasn't surprised. Poor Tony. His pumpkins had been attacked by vine-borers while he was away on business. He'd put so much of his heart into them that Steve thought of them like Tony's pets. Shamu, the last survivor, was valiant, but needed a little help. What were friends for? Steve and Sam watched over Shamu, babying it with blankets, and keeping squash bugs at bay. It was peaceful, sitting out in the moonlight, idly sketching the familiar garden made alien by shadows cast by street lights. 

And then Tony came home. Shamu was safe, Tony was home, and Steve had enough beer in him to take Bucky's advice. Tony was a a big goof, but Steve liked him like that. Tony was an extravagant, ridiculous, beautiful man.

And he was a great kisser.

Didn't taste like pumpkin at all.


End file.
